Suicide Over Friends
by Inumaru12
Summary: with friends like his, Naruto might as well as commit suicide…and he did. Rated for suicide. Very slight side Yaoi. Ignore what it says inside, there IS NO SEQUEL.


**Summery:** with friends like his, Naruto might as well as commit suicide…and he did. Rated for suicide. Very slight side Yaoi.

**Suicide over Friends**

Friends.

It was something Naruto always wondered about growing up alone.

What's it like to have friends? What do friends do? What's a friend?

Whenever he asked people these questions when as he grew up he saw that many had different reactions. Some were confusion, some was a smug kind of look, some was a sad look, and some people just didn't even look at him.

He finally got the questioned answered when Iruka came into the picture. Iruka told him that friends were someone who protected who and treated you kindly and would listen to you.

Naruto thought he understood. So when he became a ninja he swore to protect his precious ones, thinking because of that he would make good friends.

Sasuke and Sakura. They were the first people, besides Iruka, that Naruto had sworn he would protect with his life. And how do they repay him? By calling him names and hitting him and giving him cutting insults. It was true, they had protected him once and he had protected them many times but still…

Kakashi. If it was one person who hated Naruto it was him. He always shows up late, most likely to stay away from Naruto as long as possible, and trains Sasuke and Sakura way more than him, in fact Naruto thought Kakashi would hardly even look at him if he had too. Kakashi must hate him because of Naruto killing his precious person.

Lately Kakashi had been stealing Iruka away from him too. Taking him on dates all of the sudden or dragging him off to lunch. Kakashi even dragged Iruka off once when Naruto and him were having a conversation. Iruka had yelled that they would continue the talk later. Later came and went and they never did, and Naruto felt a pang of hurt and jealously.

Iruka was always making excuses why he couldn't come to the Ramen shop and eat with Naruto anymore. So Naruto just played it off with his fake smile and said maybe some other time. But the other time never came either, and Naruto learned to stop asking. But what hurt the most was what he had heard Iruka say.

_Flash Back_

_Naruto walked up the stairs of the apartment building and towards his old and favorite teacher's apartment, but just as he got to the door and was about to knock was when he heard the voices inside._

"_-Stop coddling the boy, Iruka." A very familiar voice said. _

"_I know Kakashi but sometimes I worry about him." Iruka's voice said as it came through muffled through the door._

"_Don't." The voice, who was now Kakashi, said. "He's twelve years old and a ninja. He can take care of himself."_

"_I know, but being a monster that everyone hates must be hard." Iruka said. _

_Naruto felt his heart shatter and fall to the ground. Iruka really did think of him as a monster. Tears welled up in Naruto's eyes as he turned and ran from the apartment building. _

_Naruto ran all the way home and curled up into a ball on his bed, crying himself to sleep._

_End flash back_

Now it was Naruto who made excuses to Iruka, and other than that Naruto just ignored Iruka's presence or Kakashi's for that matter too. Kakashi didn't seem to care but Iruka would stand back and wonder but never said a thing.

Naruto shook his head of thoughts of Iruka and decided to think of something else.

His thoughts came to another ninja team.

Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji.

It was true that Ino wasn't as bad as Sakura but she was still annoying and yelled a lot too. It was worse when the two of them were together, especially when Sasuke was around.

Shikamaru was okay, but he called Naruto troublesome a lot and then would ignore him, which in Naruto's perspective was worse than being troublesome.

Chouji was also okay, but he kind of just ignored Naruto too and Naruto didn't really try to make any friendship between them either.

Naruto thoughts then went to another ninja team, Kiba's, Shino's, and Hinata's team.

Kiba was someone Naruto could definitely do without. He constantly put Naruto down with his insults, and the two of them getting into fights all the time.

Shino…well Shino hardly said anything but Naruto could feel a wave of logic come off the boy every time he was near him. Naruto had briefly wondered if anyone else had felt it but pushed it out of his mind. Naruto didn't feel any resentment for Shino and could tell Shino didn't feel any for him. Naruto just felt a mutual companionship. Naruto couldn't call it friendship though.

Hinata…Naruto would have to be a complete fool not to see that she had a crush on him. With her always stuttering and acting so jittery around him. She was kind and was strong but was so timid and so doubtful of herself. Naruto liked her but wondered if she would still like him even if she found out what was inside him…

Naruto's mind wandered to the last team, Team Gai.

Lee…Lee was something else. Naruto had never met a person so optimistic that it was frightening. But besides that Lee was a good friend, even if he was a little weird.

Naruto didn't know TenTen very well. She was kind and polite but other than having a few polite conversations, Naruto hardly spoke with TenTen.

Neji was cold and calculating and was obsessed with fate. Even though he seemed a bit nicer after Naruto's match with him but he could still be a bit cruel with his mocking words and hurtful insults.

Naruto had always wondered and feared about what would happen if his "Friends" found out about the monster inside of him. Today, his fear and curiosity was answered.

_Another flash back_

_Naruto had just finished his ramen for lunch and headed out towards the training fields when he heard it._

"_FILTHY DEMON!" A voice screamed from behind him._

_Before he even turned around all the way he was punched in the gut and then kicked to the ground. Naruto closed his eyes, waiting for another blow to come, but it never did._

_Naruto opened his eyes to see his "Friends" standing in the way. Naruto stared disbelievingly up at them. Naruto quickly got to his feet and looked at them. _

_Sasuke stood in front of Naruto, his hands in his pockets. Kiba and Neji stood at Sasuke's right, their arms crossed. Shikamaru and Lee stood on Sasuke's left. Hinata, Sakura, Chouji, TenTen, and Ino stood on either side of Naruto, Shino stood a bit behind them._

"_Please sir, what you did to our friend is most un-youthful!" Said Lee._

_The person who had hit Naruto was middle-aged man._

"_Friend?!? This demon is your friend! Ha, that's a good one." The man said._

"_Demon? What are you talking about? Naruto isn't a demon!" Sakura cried._

_The man's eyes widen then he grinned evilly. Seeing that look on his face made Naruto pail. He wouldn't-would he?_

"_So you don't know? Here, let me fill in the blanks." The man said evilly._

"_Twelve years ago on October 10, the horrible fox demon, the Kyuubi, attack our village. He killed many innocent people, and would have killed more had the fourth Hokage not come. He sealed fox into a baby and that baby is him!" Shouted the man, pointing at Naruto._

_Things seemed to be moving at slow motion for Naruto as he saw realization click in on their faces. Naruto started to shake. He looked at everyone's face. He saw shock on their faces and took a small step towards them, but stopped as soon as he saw them all step back. _

_The fear on their faces was clear as day, and what else was that in their eyes? Naruto guessed it was hatred. Naruto shook harder then turned and ran, the air whistling loudly in his ears as he ran. He never heard the calls of his friends. _

_Naruto ran harder and faster then he had ever had in his life, and he didn't stop until he was deep in the forest._

_End flash Back_

Naruto already knew what was going to happen next. They were most likely going to beat him and hate him more than ever, just like every one of the villagers. Naruto let out a sob. Had it been too much for a demon to want a friend? Naruto guessed so.

Naruto put his hand out, palm up, and started to gather chakra in his hand. Naruto quickly formed the Rasagan. (Sp?) Would anyone miss him, if he was to die? Naruto could only think of Tsunade and Jiraiya when he asked him self that.

Tsunade cared for him and so did Jiraiya, even if he didn't show it as much.

Naruto whispered an almost silent apology and then stared at the ball of chakra in his hand. Without hesitation, Naruto slammed it into his heart, tearing it to shreds. Naruto's lips curved into a small, sad smile as he died, even before hitting the ground.

As Naruto ran off at a frightening speed all of his friends called out to him. Sasuke was the first to do anything. He turned around, with his Sharigan activated and spinning wildly, glared at the man who had done that to Naruto.

Before the man could even blink, Sasuke had his hands around the man's throat. Some of his friends were trying to tell him to stop, while others were telling him to kill him. Suddenly two arms pulled Sasuke back and the man was on his knees, his lungs begging for air.

"Would someone like to tell me what's going on?" Kakashi asked, still holding Sasuke back. Sasuke glared up at him.

"He," Sasuke said glaring at the man. "Told us everything about Naruto."

Kakashi's eye widen, then narrowed. He let go of Sasuke and grabbed the man by the neck of his shirt. He then looked at the rest of them.

"I'm bringing him to the Hokage. Where's Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto ran off after we were told about the Kyuubi." Sakura said.

Kakashi sighed. "Okay, I'll take _him,_" He jerked the man harshly. "The rest of you go look for Naruto, but be careful. He might he emotionally unbalanced, he could be dangerous." He said.

Everyone nodded and then Iruka, who had been with Kakashi at the time, came up.

"I'll come with you." He said firmly. Kakashi was about to say something but stopped when he saw the worry and determination in his lover's eyes. Kakashi nodded and disappeared with the man.

They divided into four groups of three's went off to search for him.

Iruka, Sasuke, and Sakura went towards the training grounds. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata took off towards the Ramen Shop. Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji ran off towards the Hokage mountain. Lee, Neji, and TenTen went to Naruto's apartment.

They didn't know it was already too late.

Kakashi knocked on the Hokage's door.

"Come in." Said a female voice.

Kakashi opened the door and dragged the man in. By some great chance, Jiraiya was also there.

"Kakashi, what is it?" Tsunade asked with a bored expression on her face.

"He," Kakashi said, pointing accusingly at the man, "Told Naruto's friends about the Kyuubi."

There was a moment of thick silence until-

"YOU _IDIOT!_" Screamed Tsunade as she hit the man with such a force that he flying through the wall and through the next.

Jiraiya didn't seem any happier either. His face had darkened and he was clenching his hands so hard his knuckles were visibly white.

"Where is he?" Jiraiya asked. Kakashi didn't ask who he meant, cause he knew.

"We don't know, he ran after that man told his friends," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya quickly opened the window and jumped onto a rooftop and disappeared within a few seconds.

There was a few seconds of silence before Kakashi turned to Tsunade.

"Hokage-sama, if you don't mind, I'm going to leave." He said bowing, then turning towards the window when Tsunade stopped him.

"Please…Kakashi, find him." She said sadly.

Kakashi said nothing but nodded and left Tsunade to cry softly.

Jiraiya raced quickly through the forest, looking for his student. He felt uneasy about this. It felt like something bad had happened. Jiraiya prayed to whoever or whatever was listening to his prayers. He took a sudden sharp turn and ran to Naruto's special spot.

Jiraiya had discovered it after Naruto had gone missing once and had been walking around for hours looking for him. He then found him curled up, happily content underneath the shade of a tree that was by a beautiful pond.

Jiraiya jumped out from the trees and saw something near the base of the tree. Jiraiya's heart quickened when he realized what it was. He reached Naruto's body in no time flat. He picked Naruto up gently and cradled him like he was a little child and looked at him.

Naruto's clothes were torn and blood splattered from him shredding his heart to pieces, but other than that he wore a peaceful look with a small sad smile on his face.

A single tear ran down Jiraiya's cheek but made no motion to wipe it away. He walked slowly as he walked back to the village.

Everyone had met at in the training grounds because they couldn't find Naruto, when suddenly Jiraiya walked out of the forest with Naruto in his arms. They all gave a sigh of relief but that was cut short as Jiraiya countiued to walk forwad and they saw Naruto.

There was silence, then they screamed, cried, and sobbed. All wanting to know how that had happened. Jiraiya told them but they didn't believe it. Jiraiya said nothing more but countiued to walk towards Tsunade.

After that, things were a blur.

It was a cold, wet, and sad day. Today was Naruto's funeral. All of his friends and teachers had come. Everyone took their time going up to Naruto's coffin and dropping a single white rose in. Just so it would take longer just to say goodbye, because none of them wanted to. Everyone was crying and suffering their own ways, while they all wished for him to be there. They never realized just how much Naruto had meant to them, just how much he brightened up their days, but with him gone now everything was dull and colorless.

They all wished they could go back and stop Naruto from his choice he made, to chase after him or anything.

But that's all there was left. The "What if's", that and memories.

In the end, Naruto had made his choice when he chose suicide.

He chose death over life.

Suicide over friends.

And they would never know why…

**Owari**

Inumaru: Don't ask where all this angst and suicide came from, I was just bored and listing to some kind of depressing music and I got the idea for this. Second reason, and please don't go flamin' me for this but I don't think there is enough Naruto suicide fan fics out there…I mean I like Suicide fics that where they actually tell you why the person is committing suicide and stuff like that, I also like chapter stories, ones that have a good plot in it and good spelling.

BTW: If I spelled anything wrong, please tell me. Thank you.

BTW 2: I'm making a sequel to this called **Diary of a Dead Lost Soul**. Basically it's shortly after this and they find Naruto's Diary and find some disturbing stuff, and the chains-of-advents that led up to Naruto's suicide. I'm probably not going to be able to write it for a while because of school and other fanfics. Anyway, Please R&R PLEASE!!! No FLAMES!


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